Thermal socks

How did I used to get through winter without these bad boys?

Instant warmth, instant happiness.

G.

거짓말 거짓말 거짓말 - 이적

One of my guilty pleasures is watching Korean TV shows. Well, two Korean TV shows. One of those shows is "K-pop Star", which, as its name suggests, is a music audition programme aimed at finding the next K-pop Star. It sounds corny and lame, but I really enjoy it. There are some brilliant performers on the show, and each of their stories is touching. Every single contestant loves music and wants to make it as an artist. Some of them have been struggling for years to make it. At a time when chasing one's dreams often seems like an unrealistic and unrewarding pursuit, I'm reminded that there is real beauty and meaning in having a deep passion for something and giving your all to have a decent go at it.

The other night, a contestant on K-pop Star sang a song called "거짓말 거짓말 거짓말" by 이적, a Korean musician I like. He writes his own songs, and they always move me and make me think. I hadn't heard this particular song before. Before the contestant began singing, one of the judges explained the story behind the song. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, when life in Korea was a daily uphill battle for most of the impoverished post-war population and it was a huge struggle to barely survive, it was common practice to abandon children - less children equals less mouths to feed. Parents would take their child to an amusement park, dress them up in their best clothes and buy them whatever they wanted for the day, give them all the fun and happiness in the world, then leave them there, never to return again. The parents would tell the child to wait there, "Mummy will be right back," and leave forever. I don't know what normally happened to the child - I imagine he or she was expected to die, and often did. The song's lyrics are from the abandoned child's perspective. 

이적 has explained the song himself in another TV programme:

"사는 게 힘들어서 자식마저 버리는 일이 있었던 때 이야기다. 유원지에 사람이 많은 날 가장 좋은 옷을 입히고 원하는 건 다 사주고 기다리는데 엄마가 안 온다. 버림받은 아이는 어떤 마음이었을까. 세상에서 가장 사랑하는 사람에게 버림받은 마음을 노래해 보자는 마음으로 불렀다."

After hearing this back story, I could not stop crying during the performance. Unfortunately the contestant didn't make it through to the next round, but she definitely moved me. What a gem of a find. 

다시 돌아올 거라고 했잖아
잠깐이면 될 거라고 했잖아
여기 서 있으라 말했었잖아
거짓말 거짓말 거짓말

물끄러미 선 채 해가 저물고
웅크리고 앉아 밤이 깊어도
결국 너는 나타나지 않잖아
거짓말 음 거짓말

우우 그대만을
하염없이 기다렸는데
우우 그대 말을
철석같이 믿었었는데
우우우우우
찬 바람에 길은 얼어붙고
우우우우우
나도 새하얗게 얼어버렸네

내겐 잘못이 없다고 했잖아
나는 좋은 사람이라 했잖아
상처까지 안아준다 했잖아
거짓말 거짓말 음

다시 나는 홀로 남겨진 거고
모든 추억들은 버리는 거고
역시 나는 자격이 없는 거지
거짓말 음

우우 그대만을
하염없이 기다렸는데
우우 그대 말을 
철석같이 믿었었는데
우우우우우
찬 바람에 길은 얼어붙고
우우우우우
나도 새하얗게 얼어버렸네

철석같이 믿었었는데

거짓말 거짓말 거짓말

This song breaks my heart. 너무 슬프다. 어떻게 우리 민족은 불과 50년전에 아이들을 버릴 정도로 가난하고 못 살았을까. 내 모국의 역사가 불쌍하고 마음이 아리다. Another heartbreaking thing is, a lot of people (including 이적 himself) have said this song reminds them of the Sewol ferry disaster of April 2014, where over 200 high school kids drowned in a sinking ship because they were told by the crew, incredibly, not to move from their bunks as the ship capsized. And as they were drowning, nobody came to save them. Not in time, anyway. By the time the rescue operations were properly underway, it was too late. The disaster defies all meaning. Families of the victims are still hurting and their protests for answers are becoming muffled as the nation slowly forgets. 이런 일들을, 죄없는 피해자들을 잊으면 안 된다는 걸 오늘 다시 깨달았다.

참 오랜만에 어떤 노래를 듣고 이토록 서럽게 울어본 것 같다. 

G.

A belated Merry Christmas from Doge

My boyfriend got me an EXCELLENT Christmas gift from the States.

WOW.

A belated Merry Christmas from Doge.

G.

Waiting at the airport

I think one of the best feelings in the world is waiting at the airport for a loved one to arrive home. There must be a constant and thick sense of anticipation in the air at any arrival terminal. Lots of laughter, lots of tears, lots of hugs.

Last week I went to Auckland airport to greet my boyfriend, who had been away in the USA for a month on holiday with his younger brother. He didn't know I was coming, which added to the fun. I hadn't originally set out to surprise him, it just happened that way. Anyway, I timed my arrival to coincide with the expected landing time of his plane. It took a long time for his flight to be processed, so I waited for about an hour for him to come out. I was in a state of excited restlessness the whole time, trying to guess whether he was on his way out by looking at the feet of people I could see under the partition situated through the automatic exit doors.

As I was waiting, it was really neat to see the reunions of strangers all around me. One particularly sweet reunion was of a grandfather and his family. There was a big family with a bunch of kids who each held a balloon, and when the grandfather came out of the exit the kids all ran to him, jumping over and and crawling under the barrier between the waiting area and the exit area, and scrambled and jostled to give him their balloons. The parents were busy taking photos and whooping. It was so heartwarming. What a priceless moment! What joy and pride that grandfather must have felt when he saw his children and grandchildren light up at his arrival. It actually brought me to tears, which I quietly wiped away, with the realisation that I would probably start bawling when my boyfriend finally came out.

That's exactly what happened. The automatic exit doors opened and I saw his brother first, then saw him. He saw me too, and had a look of puzzled joy on his face. Then the tears came. I went round to hug him and couldn't stop crying. A sense of relief and happiness washed over me. He teared up a little as well. It was a wonderful moment. To hold your loved one in your arms after a long period of separation, to laugh and cry with joy at seeing them again - it's beautiful.

I'm already looking forward to the next time I will be waiting at the airport for someone I love to come back to me.

G.

Spaghetti Toes

The other day I came across a super neat blog called "Spaghetti Toes", where a father draws and posts illustrations of funny things said by and to his toddler daughter. Here are a few of my favourite illustrations from the blog - a delightful look into a little girl's curious mind and the dialogue of a young family.

Too good!

She might.

Love this one.

Too cute.

This one is probably my favourite.

This girl loves her bacons.

The thought of having children becomes scarier
the more I found out about the kind of things they get up to.

Awkwardly it seems that I've reproduced most of the blog. Looking forward to seeing future illustrations, it's such a cool way to preserve memories!

G.

Ron Winter's online drums

I came across this online drum set today and it is awesome.

Such colour.

This is the kind of thing that people with highly co-ordinated fingers can do with these beats:

I may have stumbled across my new summer project.

G.

Fortune

I've come across this guy called William Fitzsimmons and his song "Fortune" is a good one. I like the acoustic version better than the original version so here's a relatively average quality (audio-wise) video of an unplugged version.

There's fortune in the furlough
On the other side
Wrap ourselves in blankets
The crossing of a bridge so wide, so high

It's murky in the meadow
As we draw in the lines we threw
And leveraging the ledgers
Forgetting all the blood we drew

But what I do remember 
What I do remember is you
What I do remember
What I do remember is you

It's hollow in the harvest
What I've lost I count for gain
And filling up the firmament
Visions of the one you gave away 

But what I do remember 
What I do remember is you
What I do remember
What I do remember is you

That voice could melt a glacier.

G.

Why procrastinators procrastinate / How to beat procrastination

I'm a procrastinator. I don't think I used to be. I don't know what has caused me to become one in recent years. But it doesn't matter, because I am one now. It's not great. I know I have things I need to get done, and things I want to get done, but I find lots of excuses and reasons to put those things off for another day - a day that never comes.

I came across these articles on procrastination and how to get out of it on waitbutwhy.com the other day, and I found them both amusing and helpful. They're quite long and have illustrations so I won't reproduce them in full, but the links are below.

Part 1 - Why Procrastinators Procrastinate

http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html

My Instant Gratification Monkey is a powerful jerk. And I often find myself in my own sticky version of the Dark Playground where Facebook is a 24/7 ride. (I found it highly intriguing that a the goals used in the article as examples are pretty much actual goals I often set for myself in real life. I quote, verbatim: "[G]etting in shape, cooking elaborate meals, learning to play the guitar [well], writing a book, reading, or even making a bold career switch ...")

Part 2 - How to Beat Procrastination

http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/11/how-to-beat-procrastination.html

This makes perfect sense, and it's gold. Plan effectively by prioritising your goals and turning each goal into a series of manageable tasks. Discipline yourself to escape the Dark Playground and persevere through the Dark Woods until you get to the Happy Playground, and you may even find yourself in the Flow. Enlist external support if you need to. Ultimately, you'll become a more productive, happier and better person. I want to be that person - a more fulfilled, well-rounded and useful version of my current self.

Easier said than done? That's what a procrastinator would say.

G.

The most important hour of your life

The other day in the office I was browsing the web and came across this LinkedIn article by Greg McKeown titled "The Most Important Hour of Your Life", linked and reproduced below:

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140715134701-8353952-the-most-important-hour-of-your-life

"The Most Important Hour of Your Life

An executive called me up a few months ago in existential pain. He had spent the last several years pursuing a career path he now admitted was not right for him. He had overstayed his time building a software company when he really wanted to be teaching and writing. An optimist by nature, it had surprised him to find how off track he had become without ever intending it. Almost as concerning as being off track was the realization that it had happened without any deliberate choice on his part. How was this possible? Why do otherwise smart people end up strategically adrift? And what can we do about it?

It's not hard to see how this happens. It is as if the world has conspired to keep us perpetually distracted, addicted even, to the latest update regardless of its importance. On my worst days I wonder if my tombstone will read: 'He checked email.' I am not alone.

TIME magazine recently reported that, on average, we check our phones 110 times a day. At the highest levels people check some 900 times a day.

Harris Interactive recently conducted research for Everest College that found 83 percent of Americans are stressed by at least one aspect of their work—that’s up 10 percent from the year before.

The New York Times recently published the results of a survey of 12,000 workers worldwide that found many lacked a fulfilling workplace. The most striking finding, to me, was that 70 percent of the workers felt they did not have 'Regular time for creative or strategic thinking.'

The effect of this goes far beyond feeling stressed. When we are constantly taxed by the trivial we don’t have the space to think. We can end up getting lost and wasting years going in the wrong direction.

The German psychologist Jan Souman sheds some interesting insight on the problem. As part of a research project he took participants to the Sahara Desert and instructed them to walk in a straight line. It sounds simple but it turned out to be complicated: '[Some] of them walked on a cloudy day, with the sun was hidden behind the clouds [and with no reference points in view]. … [They] all walked in circles, with [several] of them repeatedly crossing their own path without noticing it.' Other participants did much better. They walked while the sun was shining, with faraway reference points in view. 'These … followed an almost perfectly straight course.' In other words, if we can identify what is most essential and keep our eyes fixed on that it can help us from getting too far adrift.

This research came into focus for me a few days ago when I heard from my friend Enric Sala. Enric has applied essentialism to creating a meaningful career. He gave up a good post at the Scripps Institute of Oceanography in California to pursue an even more meaningful role at National Geographic. Then once he was there he continued to negotiate his way to what he felt was the best and highest use of him: to be an Explorer-in-Residence. He now travels to the most pristine oceans in the world in an effort to protect these areas as National Parks. He and his team have already secured areas the size of Alaska from being damaged.

When he reached out to me it wasn't to tell me about his career. He told me he had been diagnosed with cancer of the kidney. He has recently had a successful surgery so he looks in the clear for now. But the experience challenged him to look with great urgency to what he will do with what remains of his 'one wild and precious life.'

The questions he asked himself don’t take a long time to answer. An hour may be enough. But they have the power to improve the quality of every other hour of your life. Here are the questions:

Step 1: If possible get out into nature where you can feel the natural pace of the earth and not the hyperactive and inhumane pace of modern life.

Step 2: Write down the question 'What would I do if I only had a week left to live?' and take 10 minutes to write down your answer.

Step 3: Write down the question, 'What would I do if I only had a month left to live?' and take 10 minutes to write down your answer.

Step 4: Write down the question, 'What would I do if I only had a year left to live?' and take 10 minutes to write down your answer.

Step 5: Write down the question, 'What would I do if I only had five years left to live?' and take 10 minutes to write down your answer.

Step 6: Write down the question, 'What would I do if I only had a life left to live?' and take 10 minutes to write down your answer.

Step 7: Finally, take 10 minutes to reread all of your answers while asking yourself, 'How can I design my routine this week to more closely align with these answers?'

Life today is fast and full of opportunity. The complication is we think we have to do everything. The implication of this is we end up being pulled into endless distractions without pausing to really think. My position is we can make a different choice. We can discern what is really essential. We can design a life that really matters."

It makes me deeply ashamed to admit that all my life, I've never really made any of my own big decisions for myself. Big decisions about what I want to do and who I want to be. I know that your career isn't everything, but it's not insignificant, simply because you spend so much time doing work, and the sum of those hours and days and weeks become your life. What does it mean to live well? I think it partly and importantly means to enjoy what you do for a living. I'm not so naive to conflate this with feeling satisfied and fulfilled in every waking moment in your job. As Greg McKeown suggests, it's more about identifying what is essential to you and taking steps to achieve those things, in both the short-term and long-term.

I'm going to try and take an hour out of my next week to consider the questions posed in the article above. It may be a super tiny action point, but I figure it can only help.

G.

A grandpa finds out he's going to be a grandpa

This video is a couple of months old now, but it remains one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. The man in the video is the father of Jessica Hickey, and the clip captures the moment where she tells him that he is going to be a grandpa. Apparently he has been a widow for the last 20 years, and has been asking for grandchildren ever since Jessica got married (she is his only child).

Too. Cute.

G.

Fun, fun, then not so fun

I came across this photo online a couple of weeks ago, and it's the cutest thing ever. I call it "Fun, fun, then not so fun":

Ugh, too cute.

G.

Creative visuality

I came across this collection of cool photos online and they are awesome. They're by this guy called Brock Davis and they've all been taken with an iPhone.

http://www.itistheworldthatmadeyousmall.com/46345/2238487/new/2013-iphone-photos

My favourites are these ones:

"drawing with the kids"

"chopstick pants"

"good morning"

"ninja knee"

Creative visuality for the win.

G.

I got to pet a bearded dragon the other day

And it was awesome. I'm pretty sure he enjoyed it too, because every time I pet him he would close his eyes and smile. Like, actually smile.

Boris the bearded dragon.

Who knew reptiles could be uber cute?

G.

Second hand books

I've always enjoyed reading but never used to like buying books.  I don't know why, but in the last couple of years that's all changed.  I love buying books now.  There's something inexplicably thrilling about filling up my bookshelf spaces with new volumes waiting to be read, or great works I've already head the pleasure of reading and want to keep forever.

As a subset category of book-buying, I've really gotten into second hand books.  They're super cheap, for one.  And for another, it's a real rush exploring the chaos that is your typical second hand bookshop and finding a book (or two, or three, whatever) that you've been dying to get your hands on.  Also, it's quite neat to hold a pre-loved book in your hands and thumb through pages that have already been thumbed through by another person.  It's like the previous owner of the book is passing on the story to you and you're connected to that person through it.  One time I bought a book from my neighbourhood second hand bookstore (details below) and it turned out to have once belonged to a friend of mine - I know this because he has an extensive private library and he marks all his books with a personalised seal.

Decent book, too.

I have a couple of favourite second hand bookstores that I enjoy visiting.  One is the local second hand bookstore in Tirau, "I Spy Books", which I try to visit every time I'm down there staying with my family.  For a second hand bookstore that's located in a town comprising a main street that spans 500 metres, it's really decent.  I manage to find a book or two to purchase each time I pop in.  At the moment I'm reading "The English Patient" by Michael Ondaatje that I got from this store a couple of months ago (it's very good).

So many books.

The other is the gigantic second hand bookstore in Onehunga, "Hard To Find".  In fact, I think it's the biggest second hand bookstore in New Zealand.  There are multiple storeys with the walls and much of the floorspace lined with bookshelves that are jam packed - it's easy to lose track of time when as you walk through the labyrinth of volumes in the store.  My latest "Hard To Find" purchase was "Pure" by Andrew Miller (it was also very good).

Heaven.

More than just books.  Watch out for the weird
stuffed man dolls they have lying around everywhere.

It's been a while since I've been second hand book shopping - I should rectify this.  It's neither here nor there that my bookshelves are already full of books I still have to read.

G.

Raindrops on the window

It's an ordinary Friday night and the raindrops on the window are so beautiful.

G.

Office pranks

I don't know if this is real or not, but it doesn't really matter because it's hilarious.  A guy called Simon Dempsey makes 10 formal complaints against his co-worker David Thorne for various office pranks suffered in the space of 6 months.  Too funny.  My personal favourite is the business card prank.

I'm dying of laughter.  Poor Simon (Horse Whisperer).

G

The cutest cat picture I have ever seen

We all love a good cat picture.  Today I came across the cutest one ever.

DID YOUR HEART JUST MELT INTO A PUDDLE OF GOOP?!  If not, you may just be a MONSTER - WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT?!

G.

Bloom

I'm a big fan of a Melbourne indie band called The Paper Kites.  They've been around for a few years, released a couple of EPs, and this year they've released their first full studio album.  Their music is extraordinarily beautiful.  

I've had this one song called "Bloom" in my head for the last few days, and it's one of those songs that makes my heart ache because it's so gorgeous.  I'm sure everyone can relate to it in one way or another.

In the morning when I wake

And the sun is coming through

Oh you fill my lungs with sweetness

And you fill my head with you

Shall I write it in a letter?

Shall I try to get it down?

Oh you fill my head with pieces

Of a song I can't get out

Can I be close to you?

Can I be close to you?

Can I take you to a moment

Where the fields are painted gold

And the trees are filled with memories

Of the feelings never told

When the evening pulls the sun down

And the day is almost through

Oh the whole world it is sleeping

But my world is you

Can I be close to you?

Can I be close to you?

I hope these guys make it big, yet never lose the essence of what makes their music great.

G.  

11 questions every twentysomething should ask

I came across an articled called "11 Questions Every Twentysomething Should Ask" by Paul Angone today.  This is in the exact same vein as the "What to know at 25-ish" article by Shauna Niequist that I posted a few months ago.  But it's a good article in and of itself, and I want to share it.

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/11-questions-every-twentysomething-should-ask

"11 Questions Every Twentysomething Should Ask: Questions to Help Move On from 'What Now?'

Your twenties can be a rough time. You graduate college. You get a job—not necessarily the one you always dreamed of. You may move to a new city and start trying to establish yourself. But a lot of the time, you're just not sure where you're headed—or even where you want to be going.

Often, the question of “what now?” plagues us in our twenties like chickenpox. The more we scratch, the worse it itches. The overwhelming vagueness of “what am I doing with my life?” can crush us like the bully who sat on our head in third grade.

Our twenties can feel like being smothered in questions, but if we don’t ask the right questions, we will forever remain stuck.

After years of struggle, studying, searching and being un-glamorously squashed over and over again, here are 11 questions I believe every twentysomething needs to ask to be successful:


1. Do the people I’m surrounded by bring me life?

Are your friends taking steps forward or are they still playing beer pong in the basement? Do you leave from hanging out with friends feeling anxious or alive? Are your friends anvils tied around your ankles or jetpacks helping you fly?

Your life will resemble the lives of your closest friends—does that fact excite you or freak you out?


2. Who inspires me the most?

Think about the one person you most want to emulate. Who is it? Now what is it about their story or character that draws you to them? Write down the words that come to mind. The person you want to be like the most tells you a lot about who you hope to become.


3. What are my favorite stories?

What are your top three movies? Is there a common thread that runs through each story?

If you want to see what matters most to you, look at the stories that resonate the closest. For me, the common thread in my favorite movies is the underdog who perseveres through pain, thrives from their authentic self and succeeds at something sane people would never attempt.

Your core values are lying on the surface of your favorite stories.


4. Would I want to live with me?

Before you start thinking about living with someone else, do you even want to live with yourself? Have you opened up your closet doors and faced your monsters?

Too many people go into relationships hoping that they will fix all their problems, when relationships actually have the magical ability to show you how many problems you really have. Like a third-rate magician, marriage puts big things behind a curtain, but does nothing to make them disappear.

If you don’t like living with yourself, is it fair to ask someone else to live with you?


5. Do I love from my insecurities or do I love from my strengths?

Loving from your insecurities demands from others. Loving from your strengths gives to them. Loving out of your insecurities means you don't want to see people succeed more than yourself. Loving from your strengths means you are the first to celebrate with others when you hear of their successes. Loving from insecurities daily demands “what are you going to do for me?” Loving from strengths asks others, “what can I do for you?” Too many people love from their insecurities, and that’s not love.


6. Where am I ripe with talent and where do I quickly deflate?

We all have talent. And we all have loads of non-talent we keep trying to transform into talent. Write down a few things you’re talented at and a few things you’re not. Then focus on the things you’re good at. Stop trying to chip away at that solid cement block when you have a soft block of cheese just waiting to be devoured.


7. What are my favorite hobbies/things I do for fun, and are they something I can leverage into a career or product?

I recently heard John Saddington speak, a serial entrepreneur who’s probably best known for creating Standard Theme for WordPress, and he urged the crowd to examine our hobbies.

There is something you have spent more time doing than most people in the world. How can you leverage that experience into something that could make you money? For Saddington, he loved online computer games, so he started an online dating service for gamers. He knew the gaming world and he knew websites, so he put those two together and had an overnight success.

For me, it’s telling stories. So I started writing them down.


8. What’s the main thing holding me back?

Is it an addiction? Anxiety attacks? Depression? An obsession with pinning pictures of rock-hard abs on Pinterest while drinking? What is the main thing that is keeping you from moving forward and who can help you cut the chain?


9. What are my negotiables and non-negotiables?

What are you willing to give up and what are you going to cling tightly to? Are you willing to move anywhere, but you’ll never take a job that expects more than 40 hours a week? Is job flexibility a non-negotiable, or is it job-stability? Write a list of non-negotiables and negotiables, and then do your best to stick to that list.


10. What breaks my heart?

What injustice makes you angrier than a parrot being poked with a stick? And what’s something you can do about it right now? Knowing what breaks your heart can clarify what makes you feel whole.


11. At 29 years and 364 days, if I have accomplished just one thing, what do I want it to be?

If you only had the choice to accomplish just one thing in your twenties, what would it be? How do you take one step toward that today? Our twenties can feel like trying to walk with shoes covered in fast-dry cement, so how do we keep moving forward? Is it a phone call to ask for an informational interview? Is it asking a crush out on a date? Is it making an appointment with a counselor? What’s one small thing you can do today so that you can go even further tomorrow?"


This twentysomething thought crisis might be a continuing pattern for the next wee while.  It's not because I've just turned 26 and I feel that my twenties are slipping by without any consequence, thought that may be a small part of it.  It's largely because this is the stage of life I happen to be in right now and I want to live well.  And these kinds of questions are geared towards that.  I'm going to think about them and answer them in due course.  I would encourage you to do the same if you're a twentysomething.

G.

Elevator moments

I love great elevator moments. A while ago my man friend and I got into a work lift that was full of strangers. He asked me how my work was going, and I said something like, "Pretty terrible, I'm working with a bunch of spreadsheets..." and as soon as I said "spreadsheets", the lift full of strangers sniggered. Not in a mean way, but in a "I've been there too and I feel your pain" kind of way. It was a spontaneous moment of solidarity over something that all working professionals have to deal with and clearly detest. It was incredible.

Here's to more great elevator moments.

G.