The vertical self

Last weekend I read "The Vertical Self" by Mark Sayers. Like "Brave New World" it had been on my reading list for some time. It was awesome.

The book explores the theme of identity; more specifically, the struggles we experience with the question of identity, and the meaning and value we both give to and find in who we are. Sayers argues that today, we no longer know who we truly are, because we all buy into to a horizontal sense of self: the individual derives his or her identity from the world - culture, other people, celebrities, the media - in a "sideways" fashion. For people who hold a horizontal sense of self, the creation and cultivation of a public image are paramount, and society both reflects and dictates who they are. Moreover, the horizontal self makes us narcissistic and self-conscious, as we feel the need to constantly groom our public personas to win the validation of others.

Sayers states that that the concept of the horizontal self is a mistaken way of tackling the question of identity, and suggests that the contrasting idea of vertical self provides the real answer to understanding who we are. "The vertical self is defined by being part of a greater reality. This worldview leads to a belief in the eternal, the desire to cultivate one's spirituality so that one moves upward on the path toward becoming more like God." People with a vertical sense of self look "upwards" to understand who they are.

Building on the Christian premise that humans are made in the image of God, Sayers proposes that in order to understand who we are and find our real identities, we must re-image ourselves in the image of God. The identity of every human being is rooted in his or her God-given image, and we need to return to that basic principle to truly know ourselves and be comfortable in our own skin. In order to do this, we have to rediscover what it means to be holy.

Moreover, Sayers says that in this life, you're not the real or true you; the real or true you is the redeemed in the new heavens and new earth. This redeemed you is basically you minus all the effects of sin and death. This redeemed you is yourself, but with your positives amplified, your talents expanded, and your maturity fulfilled. Though you won't be able to fully become your real or true self in this life, you can and should journey towards becoming the real or true you more and more. Again, the answer is holiness.

Holiness isn't about impossible perfectionism. It's about wholeness. It's about getting rid of sarx: anything in life - attitudes, relationships, actions, desires or worldviews - that carries with it the spirit of death and corruption. It's about placing our inherent impulses and wants under God's sovereignty. It's about shalom, perfect peace and balance with the world around us. It's about submitting to and being secure in Christ.

I don't know if I can say with confidence that I really know who I am. Who I am seems to change a lot depending on who I'm with, what I'm doing and where I am. I'm still figuring it out and I'll probably spend the rest of my life wrestling with questions of identity. Maybe I'm equally and entirely all the persons that I am at different times and situations. But overall, it's encouraging to know that I can look to the most awesome person ever to gain a true sense of self, and I'm hoping to tread the path of holiness until the end of this life as I look upwards.

G.